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Emotional Violence.

Typically the first step in coercing your partner. Emotional violence may be a bit more subtle or direct, with the intent to control your partner through her emotions.
Violating Your Partner's Space
  • Monopolizing shared space, for example, playing loud music when your partner is reading
  • Invading your partner's quite time, for example, talking to her when she wants to be alone
  • Disregarding your partner's privacy, for example, opening her mail
  • Prohibiting your partner's social contact; for example, no contact with friends
  • Ignoring boundaries, for example, being affectionate when she said no
  • Interrupting her sentences or her activities
  • Always haying to have the last word in a discussion or argument
  • Eloquenting, for example, using elaborate arguments to wear your partner down in a discussion
  • Being silent or ignoring your partner
  • Interrupting your partner's sleep
  • Interrupting your partner's eating
  • Pressuring your partner to have sex
  • Erosion of your partner’s spirit
  • Removing the door to your partner's room
 
Violating Your Partner's Resources
  • Withholding information from you partner
  • Withholding financial information from you partner
  • Withholding paychecks or other money
  • Monopolizing the checkbook
  • Monopolizing the car keys
  • Monopolizing house/hotel keys
  • Monopolizing the TV or other household equipment
  • Withholding work that was promised, for example, delaying start-ups and completions
  • Withholding child care/visitation, for example, last minute pickup, cancellations
  • Taking away the children
  • Having an affair
 
Violating Your Partner by Using Your Self
  • Sulking
  • Refusing to talk
  • Withdrawing affection
  • Withdrawing sex
  • Blocking efforts to mediate
  • Blocking efforts to negotiate
  • Walking away
  • Having an affair
  • Leaving the relationship
  • Leaving the marriage
  • Taking away children
 
Violating Your Partner by Defining "What is True”
  • Being right about what was said, for example, “That's not what you said.”
  • Being right about what was done, for example, “That's not what you did.”
  • Being right about what happened, for example, “That's not what happened.”
  • Being right about what was seen, for example, “That's not what you saw."
  • Being right about others experience, for example, “That's not what you felt.“
  • Warping reality, for example, “I know I said it, but it's not true.”
  • Demanding agreement
  • Defining the truth, for example, “You don't know what you're talking about.”
 
Violating Your Partner by Defining Her Reality
  • Defining why she did or said something, for example, “You did that to make me mad.“
  • Defining why your partner does things, for example, “You are not mad at me, you are just.-."
 
Violating Your Partner by Assigning Responsibility (Blaming)
  • Blaming something else for what you say, for example, “I just said it because you made me mad."
  • Blaming something else for what you do
  • Blaming something else for what you feel
 
Violating Your Partner by Assigning Status (Judging)
  • Putting people down, for example, “You're the worst mother. You're a lousy driver.”
  • Putting people up, for example, “You're the expert at changing diapers."
  • Sentencing, for example, “You are wrong/right for ..."
  • Categorizing, for example, “Women are all the same.”
  • Characterization, for example, “You're just like your mother!”
Awareness + Action = Change and Stop My Violence!
Our Mission: To provide men the opportunity to gain an awareness of their own violence, to take action, and practice cooperative skills in a safe environment, and enable men to change their behaviors as well as their attitudes and hearts.
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